June 3, 2007
You are my sweetest downfall my dear.
I know that. But you don't.
It's been years isn't it? How long?
6 years. Yeah I bet you remmber.
My first love.
My sweetest downfall.
Let's trace it back shall we?
I first saw you round November. Nvr liked you frst sight.
Dnt liked you secnd time eithr. Not th third, not th fourth.
And it goes on. Until finally I jst realized that I did.
Oh you nvr knew. Have you?
I jst loved you. With all my heart. For yrs love, YEARS.
And then, when I thought you're no longr existing,
I SAW YOU.
Oh how much you've grown.
You've obviously changed a lot too.
Unlike then, you're mature now. Very mature.
Perhaps you've outgrown me. Tht's bound to happen anyway.
As you live your life, completely unaware of my presence,
I sat there just behind, near perhaps, but simply a little too far for you to see.
I watched your every move, completely unaware that your eyes wasn't anywhere near mine.
There, behind you, I entered a whole new world.
A world whre only I and you are in.
But you were just too far from me to notice. Just a little too far.
Oh yes, I wnted to be seen.
At your most vulnerable state I wanted to cloak you.
I wanted to protect you; to keep you frm everyone.
Frm their unpleasant stares, frm their glimpses, frm each and everyone of them.
Then you could have your own life.
No, perhaps not with me. That's fine by me.
I simple wanted to be there for you. Serve you as I may.
Protect you.
But how, I dnt knw.
And after everything, I waited just there, at the back.
You never came.
I cannot blame you. It's been long.
But I jst want you to know that I was there.
In frnt of the queue. Ahead of everyone.
I was waiting. waiting. waiting.
But in vain that is. It jst wasn't my day right?
And you're jst not my destiny.
And as I came round to realize that perhaps it's jst that,
I knw, no matter what happens, I will still love you.
Perhaps I no longr will wait, but I will still love you.
No matter who I love in the future, mine for you will always remain special.
It will never cease to exist.
No matter how much I love now, nthin will compare to my love for you.
This I am sure.
And as I walk away frm that back,
I knw tht every step I take is a step away frm perhaps,
My last chance.
You are my sweetest downfall my dear.
I know that. But you don't.
Yours Truly,
*Aynee ; 10:57 PM
